Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The truth is out!

Who knew? Fox News is conservatively biased! Let the word go out - they are not to be trusted!

Locks on Ice Cream?

Locks on ice cream?! What will you wacky hippies think of next? And is there any doubt that a country run by you crazy liberals would descend into chaos faster than you can blink?

Friday, May 27, 2005

300C Killer from Ford and GM

This is a pretty poorly written article but it touches on an interesting point. When I first read it I saw "Can Ford come up with an answer to the 300?" Didn't they already go that route with the Ford 500? This should be a very important lesson to all automakers... if you want your new sedan or SUV noticed... you need to stick it in a few rap videos. Especially if you are able to land it in a 50 Cent video you are set.

Seriously though, Ford and GM could try to make their next generation sedans not look quite so generic. That would probably help. I challenge you to even try and think of what the Ford 500 or the Buick LaCrosse looks like. I bet you can't... but... I bet you know what the 300 looks like. Generate some buzz about the Hemi engine. It doesn't sound like rocket science to me!




Thursday, May 26, 2005

I can't believe Ken Jennings lost on Jeopardy last night. For those that don't follow Jeopardy, Ken Jennings is the contestant who came in last summer and fall and absolutely annihilated every Jeopardy record known to man. If I'm not mistaken the previous record was something along the lines of 7 straight appearances and 180K in winnings. Ken Jennings was on for 75 days and won a total of 2.5 million dollars. It was sick watching him not just because he won but he absolutely decimated opponents after his 30th appearance Trebek remarked that of his 30 appearances 24 of them were mathematically over by final Jeopardy. Most of his 75 appearances seemed to be over by final Jeopardy. Not bad. And somehow through all of this Ken Jennings appeared to be a very likeable humble guy.

If I were Ken Jennings I would wear a necklace that said "I'm smarter AND richer than you". Anyway, Jeopardy rounded up 150 of their previous champions and pitted them in a round robin style tournament for a three day shot at Ken. I couldn't believe it but Ken ended up being beaten. I found myself really rooting for him as well. Not to worry though, Ken has his own game show in the works.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Asian nudity

If you're looking for Asian boobies, you are...

...in the wrong place. Please ignore my preface, just trying to boost our numbers.
Check out this bit of wisdom from our fearless president! Good stuff! Combining cynical content concerning his communication strategy with the terrible word choice and syntax that brought him to the presidency.

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."—Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005

Shaq is Awesome!

Taking advantage of collectors

One of my favorite past times is browsing through ebay looking at items that I would never condsider purchasing. The funniest listings to look at are ones with bloated prices that are aimed at collectors/speculators. I was browsing the Star Wars listings and there are some pretty cool items (most of them being actual props from the movies) and then some of them are just absolute CRAP!

I saw this listing and I just about blew my coffee out all over the computer screen laughing. In case the item is down by the time you get around to reading this let me break it down for you. The listing is for a "Very Super Rare R2 D2 Salt and Pepper Shaker" that "are so rare in fact that if you look them up on the internet, you will probably only find one other set". That is hilarious!! I'm no collector, but the day that someone shells out 250 dollars for some home-made Star Wars crap is the day I run through the streets of Miami dressed like Princess Leah.

Anyway, just in case you were worried, the item is listed has been listed for 5 days and has as of yet received 0 bids! Happy hunting collectors!

edit: For 50 dollars less, you can get your hands on an electric guitar autographed by John Williams.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

How can such a HORRIBLE song be so catchy?

Things I'll Miss About Miami


Not really, one of the aspects of living in Miami that I have never experienced anywhere else that I have lived is the fact that Miami is a pretty common location for filming (both movies and TV). It is actually pretty exciting... for example back in September my wife and I walked a few blocks over to a historical road in Miami where they were filming The Transporter 2. We got to see an Audi rigged with a camera weaving in and out of traffic.

Anyway, I was walking around the medical campus this morning and an SUV had to stop for me to cross the street. I kind of waved thanks to the driver and did a double take... I thought "this guy looks familiar". Oh... it's Colin Farrel. He is in town to film Miami Vice the movie. Still strange to see Colin Farrel roaming around my place of business.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Star Wars Reviews

Read some of the reviews of Star Wars III Revenge of the Sith. "Wooden acting" is used in just about every one of them. I loved it. It was everything it should be. If you want emotionally ladened dialogue and an overly cumbersome story go rent "The English Patient".

Res - They Say Vision

A few years ago (spring of 2002 to be exact) I saw this awesome video on MTV2... back when it was still playing videos. It was an artist named Res and the song was called "They say vision". It was a really amazing song and I only saw the video once... maybe twice. Fortunately, I still had access to free music via Napster and downloaded the song. The whole point of this post is that it is a really awesome song and I have never heard anything from Res since. Maybe eventually I will get the whole album.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Someone made a deal with Satan to bring the Browns back to Cleveland. Right now they have got be shaking their heads and thinking "Was it really worth our eternal damnation?!"


How to be bulimic

How to be bulimic

Thursday, May 19, 2005


We can only hope.

Seriously (for once), maybe it's just me, but I feel like the NBA stopped playing long ago. It was only a few years ago that I remember following the whole thing, the leadup to the playoffs, etc. Now, I honestly couldn't even tell you if it's basketball season or not (that's not a joke). What do you guys think? Is it me? Or has the league lost ANY entertainment value?

Donovin Darius and Nerds

My wife and I went to the Cheesecake Factory last night, which happens to be located in the same area as a movie theater. Being that it is "technically" opening night of Star Wars (most theaters were showing it at midnight), I was looking forward to watching the plethora of dorks that would be dressed up like their favorite jedi. I still remember going to a theater on opening night of Star Trek First Contact and seeing all these people dressed up like the Borg... or Kirk... or whatever. Alas no nerds were to be found... Star Wars wasn't playing at this particular theater.

Anyway, my original post was going to be about Donovin Darius. He is awesome... and proof that the Jaguars know how to draft character people... for the most part. Darius has come out and apologized for statements he made about the Jaguars organization. You see... unwhat like Terrel Owens, I can see why Darius would be pissed. For three years in a row the Jaguars have slapped the franchise tag on him. Which, while paying him a good salary for an NFL safety, has prevented him from negotiating any long term security. Well, at least long term security beyond the five something million dollars he makes a year.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


You, know it's things like this that turn me against organized religion. I applaud that girl; if more people would do stuff like this we could overturn the rigid church hierarchies that dictate morality. Revolution! To the barricades!

[If that sounds like a bit much, remember I'm just trying to take back my role of Colmes to RomeoBT's Hannity.]

I have to agree with the Dems on this one

I have been trying to pay as little attention to the filibuster issue as I possibly can. I hate to think that our well compensated senators are spending their days reading from the phone book in order to delay a vote on some judicial nominee. I know that is not what is happening, but you get the picture. However, I have to side with the democrats on this one. And any good libertarian should as well. At least if they don't want to be a hypocrite.

The filibuster is just another way to balance power in our government. Bush was recently quoted as saying "In the last two elections, the American people made clear they want judges who will faithfully interpret the law, not legislate from the bench". Well... not really... more accurately APPROXIMATELY half of the voting population has made clear they want judges who will faithfully interpret the law.

The way I see it, is if you make your bed, you have to sleep in it. I'm not sure about the history of the "filibuster" but I do know that it has been around long enough to be used as an effective tool by both parties. Changing the senate rules, at least to me, is equivalent to "legislating from the bench". Rules are in place for a reason... you have to abide by them. The democrats aren't just being obstructionists (sp?) because they don't like Bush... or they feel that John Kerry won the election. Democrats are blocking these nominations because Bush is a HORRIBLE judge of talent (e.g. Condoleeeeeeeza Rice and John Bolton). I have a hint for Bush... other countries shouldn't HATE your key diplomats. Oh well... that is another rant for another day.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Much like there is no racism in commercials there are also no poor people. As I was watching TV last night, I happened to notice that commercials never seem to focus on the fact that you have to shell out dough (sometimes a lot of dough) for anything they provide. I thought of this specifically during a BellSouth commercial. The commercial is a veiled rip off of these home make-over shows where BellSouth comes in and gives you a slew of new services, like high speed internet, unlimited local and long distance calling, direct TV, Cingular Wireless, etc etc. And then it goes on to say that you'll be saving tons of money by bundling all these services together. Never any mention of the fact that if you didn't have all this crap before you'll be shelling out a hell of a lot more money each month than you used to. All for stuff you didn't have three months ago.

The first time I had this thought was when Philips first started advertising their plasma screen TVs. The commercial revolved around three kids clearly in their early twenties... dressed as young kids in their early twenties often do (vintage Salvation Army) unloading this 48" plasma screen TV into the living room of a cramped abode located directly on the beach. At the time, I was in my early twenties and I could afford neither the 48" plasma screen TV nor the cramped abode located directly on the beach. However, I could afford the vintage salvation army clothing so at least in that respect I could identify with our heros.

I understand the whole concept of advertising... you want beautiful young people (or just beautiful people in general) to pimp your product. This is why on the screen people who drive Hummers look like a vibrant young couple coming straight from an exciting sorority or fraternity event instead of the tired middle aged couple I usually see driving them. Apparently being rich also comes as part of the bargain. Like when Circuit City convinces me so easily that "you've got questions, we've got answers" I want to ask them "how exactly can I afford that nice 48" plasma screen TV?"

Monday, May 16, 2005

Career change

Hello all! I have a new career plan, and I think we ought to ALL go for it. It's not a pyramid scheme, it's not stuffing envelopes from home, it's the real deal. Who's with me?

George Lucas is a whore

Continuing along with my Star Wars theme here... like I said earlier I am VERY much looking forward to the release of the next movie. If for nothing else than to have a brief respite from the mega-advertising campaign that Lucas and company have going on. Just off the top of my head (and in order of strangeness)... M&M's... Target... Burger King... 7-11... some cellphone company (in the form of Wookie ringtones). Maybe George Lucas knows that since this is his last Star Wars he hase to rake in the endorsements now.

Hell... I'm not the first one to notice this. I know that companies throw a truckload of money at these producers but really... how intimidating can Darth Vader be when he's hanging out with those two walking red and yellow beach balls in the M&Ms commercial?

Having said all that, I am still looking forward to the movie. I watched the Phantom Menace this weekend on TV and I know that movie took some slack from critics, but that movie is awesome if for nothing else than the final light-saber fight with Darth Maul... epic.

Friday, May 13, 2005

I think that this may unearth the true levels of dorkdom to which I can reach... however, I am REALLY looking forward to the next Star Wars movie. It opens a week from today (I think) and I find myself looking for info on the monie, watching the trailers online...

Good Lord, I might as well get some Spock ears and start playing Dungeons and Dragons!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Patch Adams in real life?

Hello! I am Dr. Patch Adams, at your cervix!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

TO is POed

I knew our host would be happy to see this. It sounds like someone has finally wised up in the world of football management!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Hicks ain't just in Georgia

And I thought the rest of North Carolina seemed so normal!

Friday, May 06, 2005

Ann "Culter"

I don't support what this kid did, but it still makes for a pretty funny story. I really do loathe Ann Coulter - nobody has lowered the level of national discourse quite like she has. Anyone who tries to rehabilitate Joe McCarthy is clearly wacked. I would love for a humiliating scandal to ruin her. Anyone with info, please post it in the comments section of this post. :)

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Post on Politics

I haven't posted anything political in a while, so I'll get this off my chest. A little less than a year ago Bill Cosby accepted an award from the NAACP and took that opportunity to speak his mind regarding the situation of poor blacks in America. His point was essentially that a lot of the issues they face they bring upon themselves as a result of "lack of parenting, poor academic performance, sexual promiscuity, and criminal behavior". I for one whole heartedly agreed with him and so did a lot of other people, including more than a few conservative (black) pundits. Walter Williams wrote afterward that he had grown up in an economically depressed neighborhood in Philadelphia that today he would not feel comfortable going through.

I bring this up today, because over the last few days both liberal and conservative pundits have been discussing Michael Dyson's book Is Bill Cosby Right? In all fairness, I haven't read the book; however, my understanding is that it takes aim at Cosby's comments and seeks to refute a lot of points that he made. Also in all fairness, I don't know all of Cosby's comments verbatim... but I would love for someone to explain exactly what is wrong with the gist that Cosby was getting at. The quote I had earlier about blacks being in the situation they are in (because of "lack of parenting, poor academic performance, sexual promiscuity, and criminal behavior") is straight from Michael Dyson's book description. So what is Dyson refuting? Or what is he claiming? His interview on Air America radio seemed to indicate that maybe America is tolerant of wealthy blacks (or the "afristocracy" as he deems them) but that they are still racist against poor blacks "ghettocracy". I couldn't not believe what I heard.

The notion that racism doesn't exist isn't true. I understand that, but quite clearly black people are able to acheive success in America. So what is it about them that the "ghettocracy" can't quite seem to grasp? I'll tell you what it is. It's summed up in Bill Cosby's remarks. And that is what I don't understand about Dyson's point. You can identify that there is a plight among poor blacks... I don't think anyone would contend that that isn't a problem, but it seems truly counterproductive and myopic to say that "while America may not be racist against rich blacks, it's still racist against poor blacks".

Quite clearly Dyson was offended by Cosby's remarks. Offended enough to write a book. But what really is he offended at? The notion that your success in life is dictated by your upbringing, your education, your attitude, and your image? That doesn't sound like Noble Prize winning sociology to me.

More Tom Cruise biz...

See... Not EVERY woman Tom Cruise dates is the picture of beauty. Well... look at the gallery... yes they are.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

VH1's Remaking

So last night before bed, I was flipping through the channels when I happened to stumble upon VH1's program Remaking Vanilla Ice. I thought "This should be entertaining". Let's just say... I was NOT disappointed.

Anyway, one of the reasons that I watched it in the first place is that I had seen a previous episode with Vince Neil. Basically they gave Vince Neil plastic surgery, a physical trainer, a stylist, and a hit producer to make a new song. The whole point was that Vince Neil realized his career was pretty washed up and that he needed some serious help to revive his image. Vince Neil was more than willing to take any and all help to accomplish and I think it worked out pretty well. His new song is actually pretty good and it had a feel-good ending.

Vanilla Ice's episode couldn't have been any more different. I felt truly embarrassed for him. He basically turned down everything that VH1 offered (from hit producers to hairstylists to dance instructors to wardrobe). All the while citing that "music isn't about image or gimmicks". Well... you're wrong. And it doesn't help that your music sucks too.

What really was the point of this exercise on your part Rob? You go onto a show called "Remaking" and essentially refuse to be remade. He really sounded like a broken record. Everyone that he met he told the story of how he was "thrown under the bus" by the record industry and that wasn't about gimmicks or "image" anymore. So he would refuse any and all help to change (or enhance as one of the stylists said) his image.

The really sad part of this is that he is so desperate to stick with an image that he thinks lends him some sort of credibility. The kind of credibility you get with the kids who like Insane Clown Posse. The funny thing is that... we're ready to forgive you Rob. I promise. Go to any club and if they spin the original "Ice Ice Baby", kids will go apeshit. Put on the Hammer pants, get the fade, shave a couple of lines in your eyebrow and enjoy the millions you would pull in. But... that was long ago and Ice is no longer about "image" or "gimmicks" he's about "credibility".

Anyway, nice going loser... you can ride that credibility right on to obscurity!

Apparently EVERYTHING isn't big in Texas

Who knew the entire Texas legislature is gay?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

High school journalism

This is just awesome...Can you imagine this is a high school journalist? My high school newspaper couldn't even get the names of the faculty right. Hell, we don't even get REAL journalism out of the local media, and only sparingly out of the national media. Someone needs to offer this kid a scholarship to Columbia Journalism School.

If you're from Jacksonville you'll have an opinion on this

The Reverand Vines is retiring. I wonder how long the lighthouse will stay dark? I've been to the First Baptist Church of Jacksonville a couple of times. One of the times I went, they had a film on drinking and driving and something happened and like all the kids got killed cause they were driving drunk but the main message was that you should be saved cause some of the kids went to Hell not for driving drunk but for not being saved, but then again that was a really long time ago so maybe I'm not remembering things correctly.

Considering that Jesus told us to turn the other cheek... I doubt he'd approve of calling Muhammad a "demon-possessed pedophile". I could be wrong... but I don't think I am.

There goes those wacky Cleveland Browns again

Nice Job Kellum!!! Maybe someone should introduce you to Jay Williams. To be fair, the injuries don't look that serious, but this can't make the Browns feel good about their first round pick last year. I think that being drafted by the Browns could be similar to the SI Cover Jinx. Basically once you hear Tagliabue call your name and hand you that Browns jersey with a big number 1 on the front, your life is bound to go downhill... or at least your football career is.

Here is a review of the Cleveland Brown's first round draft picks since their reintroduction to the league in 1999

1999 - Tim Couch (1) - still in football?
2000 - Courtney Brown (1) - still in football?
2001 - Gerrard Warren (3) - still in football?
2002 - William Green (16) - still in football?
2003 - Jeff Faine (21) - to be fair Willy Green and Jeff Faine are actually still with the team... it's just a matter of how far down on the depth chart they are
2004 - Kellen Winslow (6) - still in football?

You get the picture... if you don't let me spell it out for you. All of the above's better playing days are behind them.

Nice Job Cleveland. I bet I could replicate that level of success on draft day, and for a hell of a lot less money. If I were Randy Lerner, I would fire my entire scouting staff and just pick up an copy of NCAA Football for the Playstation and just pick from there. Why not? You couldn't do any worse!

For previous reference - http://romeothebt.blogspot.com/2005/03/football-thoughts.html#comments

Monday, May 02, 2005

Ciara is the WORST "artist" ever! I've heard some pretty horrifying music in my time, but I don't think anything can top the sheer atrociousness of "Goodies" or "One, Two Step". How those abortions ever cracked the Top 40, I'll never know. Well actually, yes I will, I'm old and I don't like that kind of music.

From the misheard lyrics file: "strut my stuff and yes I farted"

Ding dong! Here comes the shit wagon!

One of my favorite commentators is James Kunstler, who writes about urban design, and generally trashes everything that has been built in America since 1945. Now, I don't agree with everything he writes, but he's pretty funny even when I disagree with him. Anyway, every month on his website he posts an "eyesore of the month" and this month's one reminds me of the title of this posting (which may be familiar to some readers). In any event, check it out...pretty funny.

We've Arrived!

Someone found this site by searching Google for Randi Rhodes Sucks!

The title for this on College Humor Dot Com

It looks like a drunk grenade went off.

George Orwell warned us of this

Is anybody listening? You laugh at me, but Bill Gates is the anti-Christ. Or more specifically he's Big Brother. Gate's future includes MSN homes stocked with high definition plasma screens in every room providing us with gentle guidance and suggestions all the while targeting dissenters. YOU LAUGH AT ME BUT ITS TRUE!!!!

I'm moving to a cabin in Montana. Not really... I love my Starbucks too much.

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