Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Snakes on a plane

I'm a pretty hardcore aviaphobe. I'm not sure if those around me really know the extent to which flying makes me uncomfortable, but there is a reason I haven't been on a plane in more than 3 and a half years. I have a flight to Europe in two days... in fact 48 hours from now, I'll be in up the air... that is if the plane isn't lying in a mangled fiery wreck on the ground. Tony Kornheiser may have written a shitty and inflammatory article about Jacksonville, but I do feel for him. I know the feeling of dread that comes up when my boss starts mentioning work in cities that are too far to drive. Apparently a twelve hour drive to Baltimore makes it not one of them.

I know the statistics behind flying and how colossally safe it is. I know that you're more likely to die in a car accident... or die in the bathtub... or die choking on a turkey sandwich... blah... blah... blah. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference. I made this analogy and I really like it. The same reason that I will occasionally play the lottery is the same reason that I am afraid to fly. And it's that no matter what the odds are. No matter how much they are stacked against you. I still feel like it could be my lucky day and that one in five million chance will either bring you riches... or a fiery death. It's a pretty fucked up way of thinking and I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that it's almost one in the morning and I'm typing a blog entry about my fear of flying.

I guess it could be worse. I think my wife was afraid that I would get to the airport and not get on the plane. I'll fly... it just isn't pleasant.

This is the plane that Romeo Del Toro will be flying over the pond.

My friend at General Electric (for those that don't know they make engines for this particular brand of plane) insists these planes are perfectly safe. It's not that I don't believe him... it's just that I picture bolts popping out of the joint between the wing and fusealage and seeing a wing shear off shortly before I plummet six miles down to my watery grave all while traveling at approximately 550 miles an hour.

I think there is something wrong with people who aren't afraid to fly.


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