Romeo the Special

A very Bushy Halloween

2006-10-27T11:02:00.000-04:00

So on Monday President Bush will be coming to Statesboro. No shit. That’s funny in and of itself, but here’s some more.
1) A week ago the entire Faculty and Staff received an email saying that because the university was tax-exempt, it could not be seen as taking a stand on any candidacy. Therefore, political signs, stickers, etc. must not be seen.
2) About two days later we get an email saying that President Bush will be speaking on campus to advance the candidacy of Max Burns.
3) It’s right across the street from my office so not only is my parking lot being closed, but I’m sure chaos will reign supreme. Which leads me to my last point, which is:
4) I was pretty sure that President Bush couldn’t fuck up my life any worse than he already has, but the fact that he is actually taking the time to close my parking lot shows he is a lot more vindictive than I previously thought.

Follow-up to Chevy Ad

2006-10-17T11:10:00.000-04:00

Hello all - just a follow-up to our previous post about the new Chevy pickup truck ad. This one's from Slate.com and I thought it was funny/insightful:

Can Rosa Parks Sell Pickup Trucks?Chevy's icky, exploitative new ad.
By Seth Stevenson Posted Monday, Oct. 9, 2006, at 7:40 AM ET

The spot: Singer John Mellencamp leans on the fender of a Chevy pickup, strumming an acoustic guitar. He sings, among other things, "This is our country." Meanwhile, a montage of American moments flies by: Rosa Parks on a bus. Martin Luther King preaching to a crowd. Soldiers in Vietnam. Richard Nixon waving from his helicopter. And then modern moments: New Orleans buried by Katrina floodwaters. The two towers of light commemorating 9/11. As a big, shiny pickup rolls through an open field of wheat and then slows to a carefully posed stop, the off-screen announcer says, "This is our country. This is our truck. The all-new Chevy Silverado."
This ad makes me—and, judging by my e-mail, some of you—very angry. It's not OK to use images of Rosa Parks, MLK, the Vietnam War, the Katrina disaster, and 9/11 to sell pickup trucks. It's wrong. These images demand a little reverence and quiet contemplation. They are not meant to be backed with a crappy music track and then mushed together in a glib swirl of emotion tied to a product launch. Please, Chevy, have a modicum of shame next time.
I should probably leave it at that (the poor ad is just trying to sell trucks, after all, in its own muddle-headed way). But this isn't your basic flag-waving car commercial. It mixes patriotic images with some heart-rending, shameful episodes from our past. And the ambiguity is furthered by the presence of John Mellencamp—a guy who, in a different incarnation, used to make semipolitical statements about the dark side of the American dream. A guy who wrote an open letter in 2003 arguing that the Iraq war was "solidifying our image as the globe's leading bully" and wondering why President Bush hadn't been "recalled" yet. Mellencamp once sang the line, "Ain't that America" with a decidedly bitter tinge. Now he sings the remarkably similar line, "This is our country," and it's hard not to wonder what he means by it.

Especially when Chevrolet adopts the phrase in a major ad campaign. Sure, you could dismiss those words, the way they're used in the ad, as meaningless, vaguely patriotic nonsense (and as a mild rip-off of Budweiser's "This Is Beer" slogan). But they're also a bold claim: Chevy's going to tell us what America is. And what exactly is America, in Chevy's view? Well, for one, of course, it's a light-duty, full-size pickup truck. But it's more than that, too. Listen to the chief creative officer at Chevy's ad agency, quoted in the press release: "We hope that 'Our Country. Our Truck.' [the title of the spot] will inspire people to think, 'Yeah. These are the bruises and scars that have shaped our nation, and we have rebuilt ourselves spiritually, emotionally and physically.' "
Ambitious stuff. Let's break down the ad piece by piece:
Mellencamp sings, "I can stand behind ideals I think are right" while we see Rosa Parks sitting on a bus. Fine, good, terrific. I think we can all stand behind the ideal of racial equality.
Next he sings, "And I can stand behind the idea to stand and fight," while we see soldiers in a field in Vietnam, helicopters chop-chopping above their heads. Wait, what? Is this a defense of the Vietnam War? A declaration that we pulled out too soon—should have been more willing to "stand and fight"? Is it a sly statement about our present Iraq dilemma? Is Chevy making the salted peanuts argument?
Next line: "I do believe there's a dream for everyone." Here we see MLK, dancing hippy freaks at Woodstock, and 1960s peace marchers. OK, so there's room in Chevy's worldview for some anti-violence memes, too. But are we meant to celebrate America both for getting into Vietnam and for getting out of it?
Here's where it gets introspective. Mellencamp sings, "This is our country" while we watch Richard Nixon, post-resignation, waving from the helicopter that will whisk him away from the White House in disgrace. That's our country? Shamed politicians? Drab, mid-'70s melancholia? Bummer, man.
But it gets worse. Mellencamp blah-blahs some empty lines like "from the East Coast, to the West Coast," while the ad shows footage of: 1) raging California brushfires, 2) Dale Earnhardt's stock car (presumably before he crashed it into a wall and killed himself), 3) Katrina floodwaters, 4) the 9/11 memorial. Yikes!
I realize the notion being pushed here is that we'll face these hardships together and—aided, perhaps, by the hauling and towing capacity of a 2007 Chevy Silverado—overcome them. That's why the Katrina and 9/11 shots are countered with scenes of firefighters and people rebuilding houses. But I still don't understand the purpose of including all this bleak stuff in the first place. (Other than to get some attention for pushing the envelope, which—for an established, down-to-earth product like a Chevy pickup—seems a misplaced goal.)
Maybe the red-state viewer, to whom the ad is likely directed (I assume that's the main target market for pickups), interprets the overall statement as an optimistic, can-do, morning-in-America kind of thing: We've come through the bad times and we're ready to kick some ass again. But to me, this spot feels more like the advertising equivalent of Jimmy Carter's "malaise" speech. It arrives at an awkward, unsettled moment in the American psyche (underscored by the 9/11 and Katrina imagery in the montage), and it almost seems the ad hopes to capture the essence and feeling of that moment. Dredging up all these depressing incidents in our recent past, and then saying, "This is our country," sure seems like an effort to address our "crisis of confidence."
I guess I'd ask Chevy: How'd that strategy work out for Carter?
Grade: D. Automotive blog Jalopnik reports that an early version of the ad included footage of a nuclear mushroom cloud. Well, that would have brightened things up. I wonder if they could squeeze in the Rodney King beating and the Abu Ghraib photos, too.

Cardinal's choke

2006-10-17T00:22:00.000-04:00

If I were Dennis Green, I'd go ahead and just hang myself... I bet it'd be a lot easier than trying to explain how you're team blew a 20 point lead with a little over a quarter left.

The funny thing is that I was going to write about this weekends Florida Auburn game. Where incidentally Florida got jobbed like no other piss-poor refereeing call I've ever seen. But I'm not sure what's worse. I'm not even a Cardinal fan, but all you had to do... for one quarter... is not turn the ball over for a touchdown, TWICE, and not allow a punt to be returned for a touchdown... oh yeah, and not miss a field goal from some thirty yards out. In fact, if I'm not mistaken Rex Grossman may have even thrown an interception or three in for you during said quarter. WOW... that's all I can say. I don't think I've ever seen a team try harder to lose a game than the Cardinals did tonight.

Blue Hippo

2006-10-14T17:33:00.000-04:00

How is it that the company Blue Hippo is even still in business? I'm guessing it has nothing to do with bulk computer orders from fortune 500 companies. A more likely bet is people who don't have enough money to buy a computer outright who will shell out forty dollars a week (yes you heard me right... forty dollars a week) to buy a low-end computer with outdated software.

I am astonished that there would be anyone out there who would even consider this scam. Don't get me wrong, I have pretty solid liberaterian views and believe in the motto "a fool and his money are soon parted", but how is this predatory practice even legal?

Part of me genuinely feels sorry for people who are such a financial mess that they would have to resort to this and then a bigger part of me thinks... it's bad decisions like ordering from Blue Hippo that put you in that mess to begin with.

The Departed

2006-10-11T23:14:00.000-04:00

Trust me. You will agree with them. It could quite possibly be the best movie I've ever seen.

The wife and I are trying to cram in as many movies as we can before our little one arrives... I think this summer broke a record of some sorts (The Da Vinci Code, Talladega Nights, Miami Vice, X-Men 3, etc...). Anyway, we had a chance to catch either The Departed or Employee of the Month. We chose (or more specifically I chose) The Departed and ended up leaving the theater just astounded. It's one of those really rare movies that is just epic from top to bottom. From the story, to the dialogue, the acting to the music... everything was just incredibly well done.

The music was especially incredible. Try finding another movie that could use songs as varied as the Dropkick Murphys "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" and Van Morrison and Roger Waters "Comfortably Numb". I wouldn't normally take an interest in a movie being recognized, but I hope at Oscar time, The Departed is well heaped with little statues.

Why cats are smarter than dogs

2006-10-04T14:24:00.000-04:00


Look at this lil' guy. Next thing you know he'll be landing other cats on the moon and finding a cure for cancer.

I feel so... just unpatriotic

2006-10-03T23:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone who knows Romeo knows he's as patriotic and American as apple pie and baseball. In fact just to get under his mother's skin (a liberal woman who hates Sean Hannity) instead of telling her that he loves her, he tells her she is a "Great American". But good lord this commercial is just too much. Chevrolet has really just gone off the deep end with the montage of America... good and bad (I guess). For God's sake Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr.?! Woodstock?! What does this tell me about your truck? Nothing really... just that if I don't get one, I might as well drive a North Korean car made by Al Qaeda Motors.

I'm all for a good commercial that tugs on your patriotic heartstrings, but Chevy has just gone too far with this one. I even read somewhere that a clip of the testing of an atomic bomb was removed.

Having said all that I'd just like to point out that right now I'm listening to Montgomery Gentry's "Something To Be Proud Of".

Not flying Air France, are you?

2006-09-12T16:18:00.000-04:00


Enjoy Italy! Bee-yotch!

Snakes on a plane

2006-09-12T00:38:00.000-04:00

I'm a pretty hardcore aviaphobe. I'm not sure if those around me really know the extent to which flying makes me uncomfortable, but there is a reason I haven't been on a plane in more than 3 and a half years. I have a flight to Europe in two days... in fact 48 hours from now, I'll be in up the air... that is if the plane isn't lying in a mangled fiery wreck on the ground. Tony Kornheiser may have written a shitty and inflammatory article about Jacksonville, but I do feel for him. I know the feeling of dread that comes up when my boss starts mentioning work in cities that are too far to drive. Apparently a twelve hour drive to Baltimore makes it not one of them.

I know the statistics behind flying and how colossally safe it is. I know that you're more likely to die in a car accident... or die in the bathtub... or die choking on a turkey sandwich... blah... blah... blah. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference. I made this analogy and I really like it. The same reason that I will occasionally play the lottery is the same reason that I am afraid to fly. And it's that no matter what the odds are. No matter how much they are stacked against you. I still feel like it could be my lucky day and that one in five million chance will either bring you riches... or a fiery death. It's a pretty fucked up way of thinking and I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that it's almost one in the morning and I'm typing a blog entry about my fear of flying.

I guess it could be worse. I think my wife was afraid that I would get to the airport and not get on the plane. I'll fly... it just isn't pleasant.

This is the plane that Romeo Del Toro will be flying over the pond.

My friend at General Electric (for those that don't know they make engines for this particular brand of plane) insists these planes are perfectly safe. It's not that I don't believe him... it's just that I picture bolts popping out of the joint between the wing and fusealage and seeing a wing shear off shortly before I plummet six miles down to my watery grave all while traveling at approximately 550 miles an hour.

I think there is something wrong with people who aren't afraid to fly.

Jackass 2

2006-09-05T23:47:00.000-04:00

There's a new Jackass movie coming out. I'll be the first to admit that deep down I think the prospect of a naked midget in a grocery cart getting rolled down a hill is hilarious. The new preview features Johnny Knoxville blindfolded getting run over by a bull. Good stuff, but it doesn't take it nearly far enough for my tastes. Here's how I would roll if I were in charge of making that movie.

I'd have Johnny Knoxville dress up in a bicycle helmet and some water wings and a thong. The rest of the gang would be behind me, giggling, knowing something funny is about to go down. I'd walk up to him and shoot him in the kneecap with a handgun. Hilarity would ensue. Now all I've got to do is sit back and wait for the phone call from MTV movies. Trust me, I've got plenty of other funny ideas like that.

Thoughts on this weekend

2006-09-05T17:24:00.000-04:00

I don't think this weekend showed us a whole lot in regards to college football... well at least beyond the fact that Cal didn't even remotely belong in the top ten. Florida looked okay. They seemed like they had too much trouble moving the ball in the first half. People keep telling me that Southern Miss is actually a pretty good team with a really good defense. I guess I just miss the good old days when you could count on Florida hangning up fifty points on the whipping boys that we would bring in for the first couple of games. Oh well, no sense living in the past.

Florida State-Miami was a mess. It looked like two awesome college defenses going up against two high school offenses, or I-AA offenses (sorry Colorado). In case you didn't read the wrap up, there was three total yards rushing... between both teams. That's spectacular. For the love of God, Bobby Bowden... if you value your legacy, please fire whichever of your sons is calling your offense and bring in a new coordinator. You can wait till after Florida plays you though.

Nike corporate

2006-08-29T22:45:00.000-04:00

There is a little icon at the bottom of this page that will monitor traffic to this site and what people are searching for. Someone from Nike corporate found us by typing in Nike Gridion Commercials. I'm not sure what they were looking for but if they could just confirm that is Jill Arrington in their Briscoe High commercial, that would just be fantastic.

My own Freakonomics study

2006-08-29T14:42:00.000-04:00

One of these days I'm going to do my own Freakonomics study.

I run around the hospital where I work a lot and I walk pretty quickly... I like to get a move on. Inevitably at some point I'm stuck behind someone walking slow. It really is a lot like traffic. And almost always that slow person is fat. I'm talking the type of fat where it hangs over the elbows and drapes around the lower arm. Fat that shuffles... slowly down the hall. So not only are they slow... but because they are fat they take up a greater percentage of the hallway. So this leads me to start thinking, and here is where my sociologic study comes in.

I'm willing to bet that there is a direct inverse correlation between how fat someone is and there income level. It's a straight line pointing downward... where the fat goes up, the income goes down. It also got me thinking that there is also probably a direct positive correlation between the speed at which someone walks and their income level. I bet the faster someone walks, the more likely it is that they have a higher income level. So knowing this and being quite positive of it, I've decided to start dieting and running everywhere.

MNF

2006-08-28T23:50:00.000-04:00

Carson Palmer was sick tonight. I know it's the preseason and I know he was playing the Packers, but he was lights out. Three touchdowns in the first half. I can't believe he's seven or so months removed from having his ACL popped like a hymen. It gives me hope for Greg Jones.

I remember his senior year at USC when he went absolutely crazy and I thought the Bengals were nuts for drafting him. I thought he was the biggest one year wonder since Ryan Leaf...
Not the greatest call ever.

Myspace is Awesome!

2006-08-28T23:32:00.000-04:00

Myspace is just awesome... I don't have a myspace profile. I only don't have one because I'm just not cool enough. It's true. Just click this link.
You have to see it to believe it.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=8264909
there are many others like it, but I really do think that my attention span just shortened after looking at this page. I'm also pretty sure I had about eighteen seizures.

2006-08-20T17:39:00.000-04:00

Nike has great commercials. Their new gridiron commercial features a smorgasbord of football stars from Deion Sanders to Don Shula... not to mention Urban Meyer. Not as kickass as their tribal masks commercial from a couple of years ago...

or their Mars Blackmon commercials

But awesome nonetheless. It's not like it takes a whole lot to get me excited about the upcoming football season and this does it. It also shows how far Under Armour has to go with their advertising campaign... a little more effective than Ralph Friedgen's

"WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!"

It's almost football season

2006-08-17T16:35:00.000-04:00

Can you feel the love?

Whudafxup?!

2006-08-01T17:14:00.000-04:00

There isn't a lot on TV more obnoxious than the "Truth" campaign against tobacco companies. Now don't get me wrong... I'm not a big smoking fan. I find it just as annoying as the next person. In fact the inherent smell of people who regularly smoke is pretty revolting. But if there is something out there that would make me want to light up a Marlboro and inhale deeply it would be Derrick Beckles, the doughy slovenly spokesman for the new Truth campain whudafxup. The campaign revolves around this mildly retarded individual as he goes around and asks a physician it's possible that he has a "zephyr". When he gets a blank stare from the physician he informs us that "zephyr" was used as a euphamism for cancer by tobacco executives. Hilarity ensues. Other commercials involve him asking about surgeon general warnings on mattresses and trying to find treatment clinics that will help him break the habit of jogging and eating M&Ms.
The really sad part of this whole endeavor is that it's not like it's that hard to come up with an advertising campaign against smoking. Just show some 50 year old lady who's been smoking her whole life and looks like a catcher's mitt and have her read off a spiel in her raspy smoker's voice about the dangers of inhaling and voila! You've got a commercial that's infinitely more informative and infinitely cooler than this pseudo documentary footage.
It's been a long time since I've posted, but I felt that this really did deserve commentary.

More on why Sirius rules!

2006-05-04T11:58:00.000-04:00

Dude...XM is on the way down. Up with Sirius! How long until the good content starts to flee XM in favor of Sirius?

Why Sirius Rules

2006-04-27T14:58:00.000-04:00

Oh man, I just can't get enough of this kind of news! I am sitting my desk enjoying my Sirius satellite radio and what comes across my screen but this bad news from the world of satellite radio? Seriously, everyone should get Sirius - way better than XM (which is obviously run by criminals).

David Copperfield

2006-04-26T00:43:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm a firm believer that SOME posting is better than NO posting. :)
So check it out...some choadmasters thought they would mug David Copperfield. As in, David Copperfield THE ILLUSIONIST. So he turns out his pockets, and nothing's there! I love it. I saw David Copperfield once when I was a little kid and it was awesome! I'm glad I didn't try to mug him though - I was only 13 or so and not at the height of my manly powers like now.

The country catches on...

2006-04-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Finally, the rest of the country finally knows what FSU has known for decades!

What?!

2006-03-07T16:25:00.000-05:00

No way! You've got to be kidding me!!! Barry Bonds used steroids? No fucking way! What's next? You're going to tell me that Mark McGuire or Sammy Sosa juiced?

Why is this even front page material?

2006-02-27T15:27:00.000-05:00

If there's nothing else that can bring me out of blogging semi-retirement... its a good rant about sports. The winter Olympics are over and I couldn't be happier. I don't know what I would normally watch on NBC, but I do know that for two weeks, I've felt like I've had one less channel to watch on TV. I think that even if I had been even remotely interested in the Olympics or some of the story lines they tried to press prior to the games, the performances I saw on the highlights would have buried that.

Bode Miller completely characterizes this. Before the games I thought he was a jackass. After the games have ended, I hope everyone else realizes this. The funniest thing is that they had some 60 Minutes... or Good Morning America special on Robert Redford and his film "Downhill Racer" and it's parallels to Bode Miller. Redford had some quote about how the main character in Downhill Racer was a maverick and not very pleasant but all he did was win.

Anyway, nice going Bode Miller. Way to be an asshole and a loser.

Another one for the veterans...

2006-02-24T15:08:00.000-05:00

Finally, an issue on which I can whole-heartedly side with the veterans...
I only wish a "Homo Guard" had been formed to protect the gays' funerals when they were being interrupted. It would have been FAB-U-LOUS!

An awesome and touching story

2006-02-02T10:45:00.000-05:00

Hey, this story was enough to make this cynical liberal smile. I wish I gave a crap about veterans so I could conceive of doing the same thing.

(just kidding)

You know this guy feels like a HUGE idiot...

2006-01-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

My candidate for CHOAD OF THE CENTURY! I'm eager to see other nominations however...

Update [2/6/06]: Apparently this guy doesn't feel like a huge idiot, and even implies that the museum put them in a bad place and that's why he destroyed the vases. The vases were there for 40 years and nothing bad happened!

The French aren't so bad

2006-01-27T14:18:00.000-05:00

Seriously...can you imagine any American president being as cool with this as Chirac was? That's the kind of laid-back, relaxed leadership you can get when you don't condemn your leaders for sexual indiscretions. :) [i.e., Chirac was probably getting a BJ while on the phone)

Student athletes

2006-01-24T10:39:00.000-05:00

It really is a shame how a few student-athletes ruin the reputation of all the other student-athletes. Is it my firm belief that that these particular athletes (I drop the student portion deliberately) generally come from men's basketball and men's football. Could it be because these are the sports that the boosters are so crazy for and will do anything to see succeed? They are coddled, told that they are important, and eventually they believe it. Worse, they come to universities openly bored with the purpose of the university - education. Colleges and universities have become training grounds for professional athletes, which is not desirable for either the universities or the athletes. Here's an idea I have never heard anyone talk about, which is surprising now in retrospect: why don't we get rid of athletic scholarships? What the hell good are they? The defense of athletic scholarships would probably involve some sort of argument like - "you're telling a whole lot of people they can't go to college". But as far as I can see, we're freeing up scholarship money to go to someone who has really worked on their academics in order to get into the university and succeed. And for everyone who says that these programs make money for the university, it's well documented that most don't in fact do so, at least not when you take out the money the university provides, and especially when you consider that most boosters give money to the athletic programs, and not the universities. Further, the argument that they are good advertising for the schools seems odd - they aren't advertisements for the academics, but instead for the worst aspects of college life. I remember hearing one girl at an FSU/Miami game (which FSU was losing, natch) yell "why do I go to this school?" Why indeed. Is it good for us as a country if students are making college choices based on the winning of national championships or bowl games, which almost by definition requires the surrendering of academic integrity? Shouldn't we be lionizing the academic prowess of schools to the degree that we hob the nob of people like Joe Paterno and (long live) Bobby Bowden? Anyway, down with athletic scholarships. If they want to play college football, great. Otherwise, make them create a minor league football system to train their thugs and idiots.

2006-01-23T14:49:00.000-05:00

YOU MUST HAVE SEX!

2006-01-23T08:14:00.000-05:00

It looks like Apple has managed to piss more than just a few people off with their latest advertising campaign. After teaming up with Intel to produce chips for their Mac computers, they took an underhanded shot at Intel and Windows insinuating that the chips were now being produced for more than just "dull little boxes" performing "dull little tasks".

I guess that wouldn't have been too bad itself, had they not ripped off frame by frame a music video for the group The Postal Service. Did they not think anyone would notice? It's not like MTV plays music videos anymore, but come on, someone somewhere is going to be able to point that one out.

The King Creepy?

2006-01-20T12:54:00.000-05:00

This article doesn't tell us anything we don't already know about the extremely high price tag on a 30 second advertising spot during the Super Bowl... however, I thought it was interesting that the author pointed out the vague creepiness behind the King from the Burger King commercials. He seems to me to be a lot less creepy when he is running down the football field than when he is sneaking up on somebody in their backyard. I thought I was the only one.

Greenpeace

2006-01-19T22:50:00.000-05:00

Dude...this is the funniest/best left-wing pinko crazy eco-terrorism I've ever heard of. It has all the best aspects of a practical joke: poignant AND hard to clean up.

UCLA Crap

2006-01-19T22:23:00.000-05:00

Another in my long series attempting to document the Right Wing attempt to establish political litmus tests for academic classrooms! They are dying to turn it into high school...
Actually, I should say that it seems like everyone is backing away from this fringe nutjob.

Willy Nagin and The Chocolate Factory

2006-01-19T09:45:00.000-05:00

I think it's awesome... we can rename Salt Lake City, Utah the Vanilla City and New Orleans the Chocolate City... It's brilliant!

Shatner is a God

2006-01-18T14:34:00.000-05:00

Even his excretia is worth more than my total assets.

I bet this is how he looked when he passed it.

Football thoughts

2006-01-17T16:05:00.000-05:00

Nice melt down Indianapolis. I'm guessing that from here until the end of his career that regardless of his team's record, Tony Dungy will NOT be resting starters for the last three weeks of the season. I can't believe that not but four-five-ish weeks ago people were talking about the Colts as one of the best teams in NFL history. They won exactly as many play-off games this year as the Jags did.

I read an article today that stated that the best team did not win the Saturday game between the Broncos and the Patriots. I really can't stand that statement. It's the same concept as people talking about the Chargers this year and what a great team they were. If the Chargers had been such a great team they would have made the play-offs and if the Patriots were the better team, they would have beaten the Broncos. I'm not clear on what is so difficult about that concept.

It should be a good match up next weekend between the Steelers and the Broncos. My money's on the Broncos, but I'd love to see the Bus drive off into the sunset with the Lombardi trophy.

Statesboro in the News

2006-01-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

I thought small towns were supposed to be crime-free bastions of the way America used to be. Apparently, some people REALLY hate Martin Luther King Day parades and will do anything they can to stop them.

2006-01-13T16:47:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard, the Green Bay Packers have hired Mike McCarthy as their next head coach. The firing of Mike Sherman made little sense to me, and the hiring of McCarthy makes even less. Maybe they know something I don't, but it seems a little ridiculous to me to fire someone who had five straight winning seasons, who led the Packers to three straight NFC North titles and replace him with someone who oversaw the second worst offense in the NFL last year. I understand the connection between McCarthy and Favre, but come on...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Brett Favre is one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game, but this seems to me like a horribly desperate and transparent measure to coax one or two more years out of a guy who really has nothing left to accomplish and who has been considering retirement for at least three years now. Wouldn't it be easier just to say that they are rebuilding and hold onto a coach who was quite clearly successful, relatively young and take your bruises while you're acquiring new young talent? I guess that's why I'm not a GM in the NFL.

American hero

2006-01-12T13:46:00.000-05:00

Wow...I wish that someone had made this guy's name more mainstream. I'm pleased to see that the military reversed course on him shortly after the incident. I'm displeased to see that Nixon reduced Calley's sentence by so much - I never knew that.

Virginia Tech

2006-01-09T23:36:00.000-05:00

It's pleasing to know that the new members of the ACC will be able to distract from any off-the-field hijinks going on in Tallahassee. That's excellent strategy, bringing them into the conference. Now if we could just kick extra points.

Seriously, Marcus Vick is a choad, and always has been. I hope he goes undrafted - maybe the T.O. saga has made NFL teams a little more trepidatious about drafting criminals.

Hollywood

2006-01-04T11:31:00.000-05:00

So, it's good to know that no matter how successful, tabloid-hunted, and hot these celebrities get, God is still willing to remind them that under all that success, they are still the same dorks that they were when they were 12 years old.

Full disclosure: I am one of these very same dorks.

Ouch...

2006-01-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

I can't help but notice that there hasn't been a post in a while. To end this cold streak, I offer to you this amazing headline.
Cornhole for the Troops
Seriously, you can't buy a headline like that if you're the Democrats.

2005-12-12T09:51:00.000-05:00

What a disheartening game this weekend. I know I am biased, but I was absolutely positive the Jacksonville Jaguars would beat the Indianapolis Colts. I would have put money on it... all my Christmas money. I mean, you've got a team that has the talent and the blueprint to beat them... what more do you need? Well, obviously three field goals.

Anyway, while a win against the Colts would have been nice, it was good to see both KC and San Diego lose, keeping us firmly entrenched in the #5 spot for the wild card. Hopefully we'll have one more chance to topple the Colts and their hillbilly quarterback.

2005-12-09T15:55:00.000-05:00

Google kicks ass. They pretty much clean up in any application they decide to do. I'm not just kissing their ass because they host this website, but their search engine has always been the best, when they do email they do it better than anyone else, when they do a mapping program they do it better than anyone else. And now Google Earth. I now have Google to thank for what will undoubtedly be hours upon hours of my life wasted away. I'm sure if there are any geographers out there, this will be just a fantastic find!

Hot news story

2005-12-08T22:19:00.000-05:00

Wow. Usually the crime column is the most boring section of the paper. But it doesn't get any hotter than this story, although I would love to be proved wrong!

Gangs of New York

2005-12-08T12:33:00.000-05:00

My wife and I watched The Gangs of New York last night. I really enjoyed it and the movie made me wish I lived in a city with some very seedy history. It also made me wish I had a glass eye I could tap with the blade of a knife. Now that would be kick ass.

Coca Cola Blak

2005-12-07T21:18:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what this will taste like, but I'm in! Two of my favorite drinks combined!

Football thoughts

2005-12-06T16:37:00.000-05:00

I think the Jacksonville Jaguars can go ahead and crown themselves the champions of the AFC North since we swept all of them. I think it's only fair... we'll go ahead and take a first round bye and a few home games to go with that. I think the Florida Gators can also go ahead and crown themselves champeens of the SEC and the ACC considering we beat both teams who won those divisions. We'll play in the Orange and Sugar Bowls to go with that.

I do have to take issue with one of the sports writers for CNNSI's page who wrote that "Jacksonville is going to knock a very good team out of the postseason." What the hell exactly does that mean?! Last time I checked Jacksonville had a commanding lead on the first wild-card spot. If you want to look a team that is keeping another good team out of the play-offs try looking at the AFC east. Where the less than steller New England Patriots lead that division with a 6-5 record... SPECTACULAR!

Anyway, I have to admit a certain sense of excitement regarding the possibility of Jacksonville playing in their first postseason in 5 years. It'll suck to be on the road... but come on. It looks like our first play-off game may be at New England. That shouldn't be too much of a test. I mean... they've only won three out of the last four Super Bowls. C'est La Vie!

Let me just grow out my mullet

2005-12-02T10:22:00.000-05:00

And hop into this bad boy

Apparently Chevy had decided that it will join the muscle car race and reproduce either the Camaro or the Chevelle. It makes me want to trade in my woefully tiny 2 liter 4 cylinder for something with a little more teeth.

2005-12-01T15:03:00.000-05:00

I liked this story better when it was called Homeward Bound. Just kidding... in all sincerity though, I think this story is awesome. If little man...

...were to ever lose his way and find himself across the Atlantic, I would love it if some Frenchman who probably hates the US anyway aided in his return. Seriously... it goes to show you how important people's pets are. I bet whoever it was in France that called the vets owns a pet.

Bill O'Reilly's Enemies List

2005-11-30T20:28:00.000-05:00

Well, Bill O'Reilly has finally gone off his rocker. He's published his long-awaited enemies list. So far, there are only three media outlets on his list, but he's called for a boycott on them and is promising more. Doesn't it seem a little bit hamhanded that he's calling for a boycott of one of his direct competitors? Anyway, Bill O'Reilly is so over -- anybody who is anybody is watching the Colbert Report's Threatdown.

What in the?!?

2005-11-29T21:51:00.000-05:00

Strange: Hearing a sportscaster say "Florida State is really dominating tonight."

Stranger: Having it be during a basketball game.

Some Random Thoughts

2005-11-21T15:27:00.000-05:00

I haven't had the time to post in a while so I thought I would give a wrap up of some of the crazy thoughts that were running around in my head recently.

First and foremost, if I hear one more Jacksonville Jaguars "fan" knock Byron Leftwich, I will personally kick them in their birthing canal. And quite clearly if you find a reason to knock Byron Leftwich they are a pussy and therefore have a birthing canal.

I think that 50 Cent... excuse me... Fiddy Cent represents absolutely everything that is wrong with Rap music... and black youth culture for that matter.

Advertisers are stupid. Particularly those at Chevrolet. There current sales event centers around the "Red Tag Event" where the "price on our tag is the price you pay. Not a penny more". Really? Thanks. I'm glad to know that I won't be paying more then what's on the price tag. Usually, when I purchase items, I take the price tag as a suggested minimum.

Criminoles no longer...

2005-11-17T23:19:00.000-05:00

Never ever ever again will I tolerate any jokes about the Seminoles being criminals! If this doesn't get on the Noles' bulletin board for November 26, I don't know what will get them fired up!

Pat Robertson

2005-11-10T20:55:00.000-05:00

Does anyone still listen to this assclown? Thank heavens that election went the way it did. With Kansas yet again flip-flopping into the ignorant column we need a little good news. I can't wait for these people to react when the US slips into the second tier in regards to scientific development. Maybe if we pray hard enough God will give us new technology. Shameful retards.

Fox News

2005-11-10T20:50:00.000-05:00

I know every Fox News booster says it's no more partisan than CNN, but don't you think this is a bit more extreme than CNN ever gets? Seriously, if I saw this on the Colbert Report I would have thought it was a bit heavy-handed to be satire.

2005-11-08T13:21:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought that we would all see the day when hot thirteen-year-old girls would make Macktastic want to gouge his eyes out with forks?

Let's all praise the wisdom of a thirteen year old named Lynx! "We're proud of being white, we want to keep being white". Good Lord, let's hope a mudslide buries this redneck family.

I'm dead serious about this

2005-11-07T23:49:00.000-05:00

Wayne Weaver should be on the horn right this minute with Drew Rosenhaus working out a deal for Terrel Owens to join the Jags. You're laughing at me, I know, but I'm dead serious about this. I've always said Terrel Owens is an asshole, but trust me. If you can get some sort of incentive laden deal... and let's be honest with ourselves, homeboy's stock has dropped drastically from a year and a half ago when he joined the Iggles. So you get an incentive laden deal in place. Tell him not to speak with anyone. Not coaches, not players, not the media. And you watch him pile up the yards and TDs and you watch him turn Byron Leftwich into Payton Manning. As big of a mouth as the kid has on him, he has yet to get in trouble with the law and that seems to be indicitave of your biggest trouble makers.

Regardless, it will be interesting to see where he ends up.

Bush in the toilet

2005-11-03T20:27:00.000-05:00

This post isn't as exciting as perhaps the title implies because it's about his approval ratings, not his bathroom habits. What an amazingly perfect storm he has strolled into. I wonder if the Alito nomination can pull some of his base back...probably. More interestingly, what happens if the nomination fails, thereby demonstrating Bush's political weakness?

Sirius rocks my work life and drive time!

2005-11-02T20:44:00.000-05:00

Seriously, I think XM has squandered its big initial lead. From what I understand, it's big advantages were that it got out of the gates quickly, and had leads in technology and in cross-marketing with other companies (like GM). Sirius was slow out of the gates, but seems to be poised to take the momentum away!

Gator Uniforms

2005-11-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

Obviously, I was not the only one to notice the University of Florida's new sleeve mismatched uniforms donned during the Florida-Georgia game. I'm not opposed to UF making alterations to the uniform or even Urban Meyer; however, the idea that Nike is dictating what UF wears during the games is a little sketch... especially because, as the article points out, it lumps teams like Virginia Tech and Florida together visually even though they have no connection otherwise.

Besides... it just looks flat out retarded.

I couldn't find a picture of it... but this sort of reminds me of that God-awful jersey Nelly wore a few years ago in the Super Bowl. It was half of a Giants jersey and half of a Ravens jersey stiched together.

Jacksonville, old school style

2005-10-28T08:45:00.000-04:00

This is classic. Who came up with this great idea? I like how everyone white denies this was about race. Apparently, if you don't actually get to lynch them, then it's just good fun.

While we're on the subject of not being able to polish a turd

2005-10-26T12:47:00.000-04:00

To know Macktastic S. Valentine is to know of his dislike of the Pontiac Solstice. It's probably for the same reason that Ricardo Grande dislikes Brett Favre. I've read one too many reviews shlobbing the knob of the bloated Miata. Anyway this certainly doesn't help matters.

"DING DING!!! HERE COMES THE SHITMOBILE!!!"

Chris Webber and his dinghy

2005-10-25T22:38:00.000-04:00

Chris Webber was on the Bill Maher show to talk about the NBA dress code and he had some interesting things to say - he said that the idea that it was racist was not true because the players could dress "fly" in suits and therefore express themselves. As he put it, he wasn't going to wear a Brooks Brothers suit anytime soon. It was pretty funny.

The best part was when Bill Maher referenced the Minnesota Viking boat fiasco and asked Chris Webber if he'd ever rented a boat just to have sex and do drugs on it.

His answer: "Naah, I own a boat."

P.S. Spike Lee is crazy. Watch the Bill Maher Show for proof.

NBA Dress Code

2005-10-25T17:00:00.000-04:00

I've been hearing a lot lately about the new dress code that the NBA has instituted for this upcoming year. The NBA is now requiring players to wear "bussiness casual" during league functions, before, and after games. Say what you want about the new policy, but please spare me and don't tell me that it is racist. I've heard that statement one too many times. The dress codes no more targets young black males than... well... any other rule in the NBA considering that the league is probably eighty percent young black males. So by that logic, rules such as, say, allowing zone defenses also target young black males. The new dress code has nothing to do with race and everything to do with David Stern's last ditch efforts to save the image of his league.

What really kills me is the idea that the players are "grown men" so they should be able to wear what they want. Well, I'm a grown male and I can't wear throw-back jerseys or "do-rags" to work. Anyway, having said all that, I actually disagree with the policy. If you want to clean up the leagues image then throw out the thugs. The phrase "you can't polish a turd" comes to mind when I think about Rasheed Wallace or Kobe Bryant wearing a suit to the games.

Is this meant as a compliment?

2005-10-21T14:09:00.000-04:00

Is this the way you think Reagan should be remembered? This is from an article describing a new exhibit as his Presidential Library:

"The Air Force One Pavilion, which also houses a former Marine One helicopter, a presidential limousine and a replica of an Irish pub, tells the story of Reagan's two-term presidency."

Good heavens! Does the whole world have to know he was a drunk? :)
Maybe the Clinton library will have a replica of a strip club.

Funkiest Mini Ever

2005-10-21T09:07:00.000-04:00

Don't ask questions. Just read and learn.

Needless to say... The Mini Cooper has just stepped up a notch on the respectability scale. This is taking creativity to a whole new level. Let's all hope that this vehicle makes it to production just as it was intended.

The perils of astrology

2005-10-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

No, don't worry, I'm not going to go off on some religious indictment of astrology. I'm more concerned with the decision-making skills of this guy. I mean, there are two possible outcomes here.
1) You die as you predicted: the world revels in your mystical powers, but you're too dead to notice.
2) You live: Generally a positive thing, but now everyone thinks you're a sham. Possibly you commit suicide to end the misery of the public mockery that follows you everywhere you go.

So, I suppose the lesson is, if you predict your own death, keep it to yourself. No good can come from it.

Update (12:12am): Lame!

Random Link

2005-10-19T16:03:00.000-04:00

For those that haven't yet seen The Shining recut trailer, this is well worth the time to check out. The trailer was part of a contest by The Association of Independent Creative Editors and is really well done. It makes me want to go out and see this heart-warming non-existent movie. There are links to a couple of other trailers that were done for the same contest, but Shining definitely takes the cake.

Ford GT vs GT4

2005-10-11T12:39:00.000-04:00

Edmunds has a great article on running a real lap at Laguna Seca in a Ford GT vs running the same lap on the PS2 game Gran Turismo. I have got to get a different job... or more specifically, I have got to get a job doing these kinds of things. Anyway, the article points out the obvious... you're more likely to take risks in the video game than you are in real life. I'd still like to try it out... just to be sure.

2005-10-10T23:12:00.000-04:00

For rizzle!

Harry Potter Gay?

2005-10-06T12:56:00.000-04:00

I haven't read the last few books in the Harry Potter series, but if he hasn't smacked Hermione's ass yet... maybe he is gay!

2005-09-29T12:07:00.000-04:00

I love John Henderson... I mean I REALLY love him. Like not just in the way that I admire him as an athlete. John Henderson is a MAN. I meant to write about this earlier this week, but it seems like everytime they show John Henderson making a tackle, or batting down a pass, or generally just being a bad-ass he has an offensive linemen attached to each of his shoulders and they still aren't doing a whole lot to slow him down.

I really hope that Big John didn't slap his bitch around. It would be a shame because I've always viewed him as a character guy. He seems to bring a similar attitude to the defensive line that Tony Boselli brought to the offensive line. If I were Jack Del Rio, I'd stick Big John on both the offensive and defensive lines. I would also have him run back punts and kicks because my thinking is that there aren't a lot of players in the NFL that could actually tackle Big John.

2005-09-29T10:45:00.000-04:00

I don't pay too much attention to Major League Baseball, but they had an interesting segment on Sports Center this morning. The San Diego Padres have clinched their division with an astounding record of 79-79. They could become the worst team (record wise) to win their division in the history of the MLB. The funniest statistic was that the closest they would be to the division leader in any other division is 10.5 games behind. They would be dead last in the NL East and some 17.5 games behind in the NL Central. Like I said, I'm not a big fan of baseball, but I do enjoy a good train wreck when I see one.

Intelligent Transportation Systems

2005-09-28T09:14:00.000-04:00

Even the name is creepy, "Intelligent Transportation Systems". Call me old fashioned, but I'd really just rather drive the car myself.

Anyway some other random thoughts... The season premier of The Amazing Race family edition was last night. The rather coincidentally named Black family was eliminated. This is actually somewhat fortunate because I'm not sure I could go through the entire season with other teams saying "Is that the Black Family in that car?" or "Damn... the Black Family just pulled in front of us" or "Those Blackies are always trying to pull a quick one".

Best Notre Dame story EVAR

2005-09-26T20:59:00.000-04:00

I will be the first to admit that I'm harsh on Notre Dame. There are several reasons for this:
1) I'm generally harsh on Catholicism (a subject for another post another time).
2) I hate the special treatment they get from their TV contract (not that I blame them for making it, I just don't like it).
3) It's in Indiana, and I just have trouble getting behind anything from Indiana.

All that being said, I would take a job there in a heartbeat, especially after reading this article, which is one of the most touching sports stories I've heard in a long time (perhaps since Rudy?).

Conservative Hollywood

2005-09-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

I must confess that I haven't seen any of the movies being talked about in this article, but I think the point is well-taken. I'm, in particular, horrified by the storyline of Just Like Heaven, which sounds like it was written up by Pat Robertson (except without any assassinations). It looked good in the previews, but now it sounds pretty terrible to me. Blah.

Jamster Commercials

2005-09-23T09:15:00.000-04:00

I found this article today on a website talking about the U.K. banning advertisments (or at least primetime advertisements) for the company Jamster. If you're not familiar with Jamster or their commercials it's basically a subscription service that will provide you with ringtones and screen savers and joke text messages and a whole lot of other crap that I would never want on my cell phone. The gist of the ruling is that Jamster is targeting children and not making it clear that they are hawking a subscription service. The funny thing is that I have seen a lot of commercials like this were you text a word ("joke") to a number and you will receive a daily text message or a daily ringtone or some other such nonsense. The commercials look they were thrown together in about 30 minutes by a high school A.V. class. The first time I saw them I thought "is this real"? My second thought was, I wonder how many people are going to fall for this and then regret it in about a week when their inbox fills up with junk mail.

Anyway, I can tell I'm getting old. I could never fathom downloading ringtones to my phone. I've done it once... for a dollar and it is just not a function of my phone that appeals to me. Neither is text messaging. It should only be done drunkenly... when you are at a football game and you think to yourself "I'm going to drop a text message to one of my boys with the score of his game" and then by the time you fumble with the keys you have no idea what you were even originally doing. Brilliant.

Climate change and the hurricanes

2005-09-23T08:39:00.000-04:00

Now, I'm not the most knowledgable person on the topic of climate change, I leave that to the experts. But there seems to be a real solid and long lasting consensus that has formed that not only is it occuring, but it might be linked to the increase in hurricanes (that last part I'm not sure the consensus is as solid on). It seems to me lately that there has been a lot of evidence that spending money up front saves a lot of money on the back end (i.e., if we'd reinforced the levees of New Orleans the way everyone said we needed to), and I can't help but wonder if the same thing is true of climate change. It seems like the resistance of Big Business to spending the money on climate change is leading to bigger expenditures in rebuilding. It's just shifting the costs to other people (and magnifying them). Perhaps now we'll see insurance companies lobbying the government for more support for global climate change initiatives?

Best complaint letter ever

2005-09-22T22:19:00.000-04:00

Wow...this guy has some serious complaints. And, I might add, a future with the written word. It brings me to my next point though, which is that while everyone complains about government monopolies, I have had no problems with any of them (i.e., water, garbage pickup, power) compared to the problems that I have had with private monopoly corporations (Sprint home phone service, and I'll even include cell phone companies since they essentially get to be a monopoly for the duration of your contract). It seems like this guy feels the same way.

Update [10:27pm]: I forgot to mention that U-Haul sucks. Not because it is at all a monopoly of any sort, but because it treats you like it is. Fuckers. Worst company EVAR!

Speaking of Racism

2005-09-21T10:32:00.000-04:00

This has caused a big uproar among the University students and administrators. I personally think it is funny... and appropriate. Maybe that makes me a racist? Regardless, it has been really interesting seeing the student newspaper point out the hypocrisy of the administration and some other student bodies. The administration of UF spoke out against the cartoon saying that it was inappropriate to use racial slurs and that it was a poor reflection on the University... however, that didn't stop them from bringing in comedian Charlie Murphy to Gator Growl last year who apparently dropped N-bomb after N-bomb. Nice going UF... way to blurt out a knee-jerk overly politically correct response.

Jacksonville in the news

2005-09-20T01:32:00.000-04:00

Ahh, to be young and colossally stupid. Read to the end for all his wisdom.

Thoughts on this weekends football games

2005-09-19T11:59:00.000-04:00

I don't know what game everyone else was watching on Sunday, but what I saw out of the Jacksonville Indy game was an absolutely brutal Indy defense and Peyton Manning way off his game. Don't get me wrong, I thought the Jacksonville defense played well, but certainly not as well as the Indy defense. I didn't see Manning get leveled every other play... I saw him overthrow a lot of receivers. The idea that I was watching two dominant defenses is certainly appealing, but had Manning connected on a couple of poor throws, the score may have been more like 24-3. Having said that, you can't overlook the fact that Byron Leftwich is a soldier. I know I certainly wouldn't have gotten up after a lot of those hits. Oh well, Jacksonville has a chance to even up the score in a few weeks... let's hope they make the most out of it.

I don't remember too much of the Florida Tennesse game. Too bad.

At least the swagger is back...

2005-09-13T08:43:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure that FSU has earned the right to be talking this way, but at least it reminds me of the times when we were consistantly good:
"They're new [Boston College], and this year, they're getting a lot of hype because they're nationally ranked, but we don't care about that," FSU junior tailback Lorenzo Booker said. "We're Florida State. We feel like we should be welcoming everybody. If they've been in [the ACC] for 10 years, then we need to let you know that nothing's changed. If you're just [moving] in [the league], then we need to let you know about the years to come."

Schlupp Schlupp Schlupp my ass!

2005-09-12T11:23:00.000-04:00

Reason #1 why Brett Favre is not one of the top 7 quarterbacks of all time:
He scored NEGATIVE 12 points for my fantasy football team this past weekend, AND Javon Walker, his go-to receiver was lost for the season. I was open to reconsidering his position on my list of all-time best quarterbacks, but now...no way!

I'm not going back to Louisiana ever

2005-09-10T22:30:00.000-04:00

I'm probably exaggerating, but this infuriates me. I heard the story on This American Life ("After the Flood") this morning and they did extensive interviews with people from the refugee group. They ended up having to break into a gas station and hide on the floor beneath the windows because they heard gunfire and gangs moving about at night. They were camped on the bridge where they felt safe but the police came and rousted them out. Where were these people supposed to go? Later they camped somewhere else and a police helicopter came down and used its downdraft to blow away their stuff. Absolutely shameful.

Update [10:49pm]: More police goodness here.

Back on the FSU bandwagon

2005-09-10T22:02:00.000-04:00

Well, given the way things are going, it looks like I have yet again put my eggs in the wrong basket. Granted, Florida State has only eked out a win over Miami (that we didn't really deserve), and beat the crap out of I-AA Citadel, but that's better than what I saw today out of Georgia Southern. I sat in the first row right behind the McNeese State bench (see below for awesome new heckles I came up with today*) and watched Georgia Southern get pushed around by the McNeese State offensive line and I also saw our cornerbacks get beat OVER and OVER again. It was like the FSU/Miami game except without all the sacks to make you feel good. Of course, we still could have won it, in fact we even scored the game-winning touchdown with a minute to go. But what happened? A holding call, followed by two sacks and an incomplete pass to take us out of field goal range. Anyway, what are the odds of someone reading this blog and caring about Georgia Southern football? Pretty slim. But a man's gotta vent.

* "Hey #1, you smell like #2!"
"Hey #57 [fat lineman]! You look like pre-Subway Jared!"

XBox Live

2005-09-07T21:28:00.000-04:00

I thought our reader(s) might enjoy this hilarious dialogue about 30-year olds playing XBox Live. Good stuff!

Also, here's a great compendium of Pat Robertson's objectionable rants. Wow.

2005-09-07T12:05:00.000-04:00

Bryce Paup, Hugh Douglas, Reggie Hayward...
The Jacksonville Jaguars
"Where Good Pass Rushers Go To Die"

Nole Mercy

2005-09-05T23:50:00.000-04:00

Wow. That's all I have to say regarding the 10-7 win of the FSU Circus Clowns over the Miami Hurricanes. I was beginning to think that I would never see another victory over the Hurricanes, but nevertheless here it is. It just goes to show that anything can happen, even when your quarterbacks completely tank and you can't even score on first and goal from the 3. It's a beautiful thing.

Lest I be contributing to the dumbing down of America, here is a link that perhaps might illuminate our readers. After all, what's a blog post without some partisanship?

Bush angry at New Orleans, claims city is not 'hanging tough'

2005-09-02T11:04:00.000-04:00

The above headline hasn't occurred yet, but it very well may soon. Hurricane Katrina is a disaster of almost unprecedented proportions, but if there is a glimmer of positivity to be gained from all this, it's that perhaps people will see the results of our single-minded attention to terrorism. I've always said that 9/11 was more of a disaster in people's heads (largely because of the way it was televisually available) than a disaster of real magnitude. For instance, in the summer of 2002, 3000 French people were killed by a heatwave, but that didn't revolutionize the way the world works like 9/11 did, even though it would be a lot easier and cheaper to ensure that old people have airconditioners throughout northern climes. But heat waves don't touch the imagination like towers collapsing do, so we restructured our whole government (and budget) around stopping another terrorist strike. Well, now perhaps people will realize that the world is far too complex to allow us to obsess about our own terrorism fetish. The scenes from New Orleans are clearly powerful images that will hopefully broaden America's mind(s) in regards to the MANY dangers that we have to be aware of. If you didn't follow the above link, you really should. It's shocking, but I'm SURE that New Orleans wasn't the only place to get shortchanged in the rush to create homeland security. How many other things are we vulnerable to that we aren't aware of yet? What's even more sad is that New Orleans is not that different of a situation than what we could expect from a massive terrorist assault (dirty bomb, etc.) and look how pathetic our government apparatus has been at saving people. It's been almost a whole damn week.

Good News For Retail

2005-09-01T11:41:00.000-04:00

I know another poster that will get a kick out of the first paragraph of this article. You don't even have to read the article... just the first paragraph.

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Retailers racked up solid sales last month, proving once again that American consumers are holding tough despite soaring oil and gasoline prices.

What exactly does "holding tough" mean. Does that mean that even through hard economic times Americans are still spending those dollars? Is this like Bush extolling Americans to spend money to help jumpstart the economy after 9/11? How about we don't rely on consumer spending to bail out the poor fiscal policies of this administration? This sounds an awful lot like... just throwing money at the problem. Isn't that supposed to be a trait of the Democrats? Brilliant.

Nickel Creek

2005-08-31T06:00:00.000-04:00

I gots some new favorite music. I used to buy a ton of CD's... and by a ton of CD's I mean a lot. Anyway, that sort of trailed off once I started having access to a T1 line and Napster. After that fizzled out, I never got back into the habit so it is actually a pretty rare occasion when I buy a CD. I think I am going to rush out to my nearest Best Buy and get Nickel Creek's "Why Should the Fire Die?" I saw their video for When In Rome on CMT... awesome stuff. Much better than the shit that they play on MTV.

Dick's Sporting Goods missed a major opportunity

2005-08-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

I am a marketing genius. I know this because as I was watching TV the other day (not the only thing that I do) I saw a commercial for Dick's Sporting Goods. The commercial involved approximately five high school girls talking about the individual sports they play... "I'm a forward for Eagles Soccer" "I am a striker for Rams volleyball"... or something like that. Anyway, near the end of the commercial is a montage of all these high school girls saying "I need more power" "I need more speed" "I need more hops" etc, etc. After that there is the logo for Dick's and some anonymous announcer telling us all the great things we can buy at Dick's. So me, being my typical marketing genius self thought that it would be a really AWESOME idea if after all these high school girls told us that they "need more power", "they need more speed", "they need more traction" they should tell us that "I need more Dick's", "I need more Dick's", "I need more Dick's". I should go to work immediately for the firm that handles Abercrombie and Fitch's marketing.

Jags Falcons game

2005-08-26T08:24:00.000-04:00

It seems to me like the preseason is where nothing can be right. Either your team is good... or excellent... and all you hear is how the preseason means nothing. Or your team struggles and gets bashed for that. Vic Ketchman wrote "Savvy football people don't get worked up about preseason games. Be savvy". Yet, if you read the writeups of last night's game, you would think that Jacksonville is doomed for the season. And could the ESPN broadcast team of Joe Theisman, Paul Maguire and Mike Patrick suck NFL player's dicks any harder?! Holy Christ, talk about Shlup-Shlup-Shlup. If I hear them fall all over themselves to complement every single player on the field one more time, I'm going to peel my toenails back slowly. Let's hope Jacksonville gets passed up for those Sunday night games. Anyway, obviously it would have been better to win last night, but I thought there were a lot of highlights and other than the fact that Jacksonville seems to be unable to stop the run, I think things are looking good for the season.

Apparently Idahoans never study logic

2005-08-24T19:58:00.000-04:00

Have you seen this craziness? Don't get me wrong, I think the Cindy Sheehan thing is really just a PR stunt gone rampant (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) , but the idea that a TV station wouldn't show her TV ad because there's no proof that there aren't WMD in Iraq seems ludicrous. I mean, unless I'm mistaken Bush himself has admitted that there aren't any WMD in Iraq. And how do you get proof that something does NOT exist? Logically impossible! So much for the left-wing media!

Sweet Vindication!

2005-08-23T20:46:00.000-04:00

Looks like the NCAA, stopped, thought about it, and realized that they had truly stepped in it. Now, of course, they have opened themselves up to appeals from everyone under the sun. Nice job, jackasses. Don't mess with the Noles! (Unless you're the University of Miami, who seemingly gets to do that)

Pat Robertson

2005-08-23T08:56:00.000-04:00

...Never ceases to amaze me with his ability to one-up his previous asinine comments. In this article, he calls for the US to assassinate Hugo Chavez, the democratically elected president of Venezuela. Why? To prevent it from becoming "a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism." What a jackass. First, communist infiltration? Let's be clear, Chavez is a leftist friend of Fidel Castro, but is anyone really concerned about communist infiltration anymore? Doesn't that seem, like, so 30 years ago? And even better, MUSLIM EXTREMISM? Venezuela is an ardently Catholic country (like 96% of the population) - maybe the Vatican is going to be next!
I'd like to be able to purely blame Robertson for this, but he's harnessing the rhetoric of the Bush Administration, which has used "Muslim Extremism" as a punching bag to promote their own objectives around the world. So I'm not surprised that Pat Robertson is doing the same.

Update [2:12pm]: Venezuela takes Pat Robertson seriously!

Update Redux [4:00pm, next day]: Pat Robertson trips over himself from furiously backpedaling!

Update x3 [7:42pm]: Pat Robertson apologizes, admits he actually said what was clearly on videotape.

2005-08-22T15:32:00.000-04:00

So I was watching TV the other day and I saw an advertising spot for Slim Jim snacks. The spot included something called the fairy snapmother which looked like a wannabee Henry Rollins with fairy wings and some clown that rode his dirtbike off a ramp into a puddle of mud. All through the ill balanced lens of some home video camcorder. After the clown landed in the puddle of mud all his buddies clapped and cheered and the fairy snapmother implored me to "Snap Into A Slim Jim". Maybe someone should tell them that Jackass was cancelled four years ago.

So I was watching TV the other day and I saw an advertising spot for Sneaux Shoes. The spot included Steve-O... formerly of Jackass drinking sour milk out of his shoes. It also included Steve-O launching himself over... and into... several plastic garbage bins. After that, Steve-O told me that these were "Damn fine shoes", or something like that. Maybe someone should tell them that Jackass was cancelled four years ago.